I’ve thought a lot about what to write in this little blog. It’s been ages since I last posted, and so much has been happening in our lives that I almost don’t know where to begin. It’s like when you have a long to do list, and you just don’t even know where to start, so you don’t do anything but sit on the couch and eat Oreos. (That’s not just me, is it?)
I suppose I should mention that in mid-August, we successfully sold our house and moved into our new one. On the same day. I don’t recommend that schedule if you can help it. Quite a stressful few days there surrounding our dual closing date, and I don’t think the pregnancy hormones helped much.
The good news is we’ve settled into our new home quite nicely. We’re also getting into a groove with the new schedule since D takes J to school in the mornings, so we all have to get up at 6:30 am. That schedule may become easier or harder in a couple of weeks when we have another being in the house.
Speaking of which, I’m 38 weeks along today! Not sure which is worse — a pregnant lady who complains about her ailments all the time or one who brags about not having any, but (for my own sake) I’m pleased to announce that I fall in the latter category. For some reason, my belly seems way less huge to me this time around — probably because the skin and tissues were already stretched out — and apart from Braxton-Hicks contractions, some nighttime reflux and trouble getting comfortable to sleep, I have few complaints.
I’m also in no big hurry to have this baby. It’s not that I’m not looking forward to meeting her… I just know what I’m in for after she arrives. As I’ve said before, this whole second pregnancy thing is totally different from the first.
I haven’t had the time to obsess over my birth plan, and my main concern about that is making sure J is taken care of. I’ve been told repeatedly by doctors and midwives that since my first labor/delivery went so quickly (about 4.5 hours), this one is going to be quick, too. And with my sister all the way across town, we’ll likely have to meet her at the hospital for the hand-off. But will J be upset to see his momma in labor? Will he cry a lot without me at home for a couple of days after birth? Will he be jealous of baby E? How can I make this go smoothly for him?
Meanwhile, I’m hardly concerned at all about my own labor experience this time around. I feel like I’ve been there and done that. I’m not sure this time if I want to get an epidural or not (I didn’t the first time). While it was the single most painful experience of my life (and when I really stop to think about it, why am I doing this to myself again?!), I plan to just roll with the punches.
And now that I know how incredibly wonderful the end result is, it all seems so worth it. I feel terrible saying it, but I didn’t fall immediately in love with J when he was born. He seemed sort of… alien to me. It’s like I suddenly realized that this little creature that had been growing inside me was a totally separate being from myself. Of course, over the following months I fell deeply in love with that baby. He is my world, and I love him wholly and completely. Knowing first-hand the relationship that blossoms between a parent and child makes me all the more excited and prepared to love E in the same way — and I think it will happen more quickly and immediately with her as a result.
I also have a lot to get done at work and at home first — although the nursery is complete! Ironically, it’s the most put-together room in the house but will also be the most infrequently used for the first 2 or 3 months until we transition from the bassinet to the crib. And while we’ve gotten a LOT of stuff done around the house after moving in (cleaning, installing laminate in the basement, building stairs off the deck, painting several rooms, purchasing a sofa…), there are still a few projects and repairs that need to be made. Working on getting those completed this week!
It feels good to write in the blog. Thanks for sticking with me. My next post may feature a new little person!